hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
