she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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