I want to stick my p in your. b.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
