The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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