Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
