I accidentally had phone sex last night
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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