was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
