so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
