Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
A bitchslap is in order.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
