you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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