Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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