you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
