great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize