Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
