He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
