Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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