I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
