Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
