this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
