proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
