We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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