Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
