yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
