Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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