Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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