It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
