hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize