He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I understand Curling. That high.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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