You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
