Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
