I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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