I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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