Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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