3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
