he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
