i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
