i just wanna soil my oats bro
Duck Duck Cougar?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
