my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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