Umm I'm too high to move.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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