At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
