Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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