i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize