oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
