she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
