Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So. Much. Porn.
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