Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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