I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
