see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
