He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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