so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
