I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
