I'm going to jail i love you
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
