I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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