i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize