just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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