4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
