I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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