Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
