I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
