I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The uberlube is also flammable
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
