Do vagina's smell?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
you had me at cake vodka
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
