lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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